What Are The Effects Of Self-Esteem
We either have a high, low or somewhere in the middle self-esteem. Someone with high self-esteem is confident, motivated and feels like most things are possible; they are more likely to be higher achievers. People with low self-esteem are more likely to be insecure and not as confident. What creates the type of self-esteem you have? Your thoughts do, what you think about yourself will have a direct effect on your self-esteem. People with low self-esteem don’t achieve as much as they are often feeling scared, worried, inadequate and uncomfortable rather than just living life; having negative thoughts can be time-consuming.
Having low self-esteem stops people from getting what they want and need. They would rather go without than to speak up. This resistance can cause negative results, experiencing sexual or emotional abuse, bullying, staying in an unhappy marriage, missing out on that perfect job etc. as well as living with resentment. People with low self-esteem often feel they are: not worthy, not capable, not lovable, not essential or valuable; they feel like they are not enough and as a result, they are not living the life they deserve to live.
Behaviour & Neural Pathways Affects Self-Esteem
When a behaviour is repeated, a Neural pathway in the brain develops; it becomes a memory, to do any act or practice unconsciously, such as walking and to drive a car. Initially, it required ones full conscious focus, and when the neural pathway is fully developed, it can now be done on autopilot, unconsciously. Many things are achieved throughout the day automatically. When we are born, we have many things to learn, such as how to feed ourselves, talking, etc.
When negative self-talk is repeated, the neural pathway becomes strong, and the thoughts then become an unconscious act, which means that you don’t even realise what you are thinking about, its all done unconsciously. For many of us; it’s more comfortable or more natural to be negative than to be positive.
When a person is asked “what are your faults” the list can be endless and when asked “what are your strengths” its quite often a shorter list. So you can imagine if someone tells themselves daily that, they are not good enough, smart enough, loveable, worthy, then that’s who they become, because that what they have created, it becomes their truth.
Having low self-esteem stops a person from living their full potential, can you remember a time when you choose not to speak up to your detriment?
We are not responsible for the experiences we had in childhood but…. we are accountable for our life as an adult.
How Do I Improve My Self-Esteem?
To change your self-esteem from low to high is a choice; it’s that simple. To consciously CHOOSE what you are thinking about, you can then start to take control of your life, begin to become aware of your thoughts, change the negative to a positive, be aware of your thoughts; you can be in charge consciously.
Do you realise that your unconscious runs 80 % of your day and only 20% by your conscious mind, now that’s a bit scary? Is it time that you consciously take back control and create the mindful life that you do deserve.
Accept what we have and work with it and not against it, change what you can and accept what you can’t and just go for it.
Many years ago, I would tell myself that I was not intelligent “enough”, compared to what though? This was my negative self-talk, and when I realised that my intelligence was enough for me, at that moment in time and that no one else was thinking that but me, I could then let that thought go. I became conscious of what I was thinking about, and the negative effect it had on me and I choose to let it go.
The past creates present reality, and at times, we may have had unpleasant experiences, but it does not need to define who you are now or the quality of your life.
Individual counselling provides the opportunity to resolve past events that may be a contributing factor to the negative thoughts that create low self-esteem and to provide tools on ‘how to’ achieve a life you want for the present and the future.