‘Values’ are deep-seated beliefs that you hold dear, representing the most important parts of life.
Your values—what you value above all else—can act as a roadmap to help ensure you stick to your authentic life path, and to know when you have deviated into territory that doesn’t align with your true self. Staying true to your values is also an important part of maintaining a positive self-image and your overall mental health.
Diane Rooker, who runs Pearl Counselling and Parenting Programs, can help you identify your values, stick to them when life challenges you and love you if you act contrary to your values. Her formal qualifications, as well as her vast knowledge and experience, make her counselling sessions professional yet friendly.
Staying true to yourself
Knowing what your values are will help you stay true to yourself in life—especially in difficult times. Values are not just a set of ideologies that can be adapted as you learn more and change your opinion about certain things; values represent the most important things at the very core of your being and, in part, define who you are and how you act.
Once you are clear about what your values are and understand why those particular things are important to you, the next step is to stay true to these values and yourself. One of your values might be to respect yourself and your body; however, if you put yourself in a situation where you feel you have disrespected yourself, you may feel a profound sense of sadness and even self-loathing. That’s how important your values can be.
To truly be able to value something in life and honour that value, you must first value yourself—you must love and accept yourself for who you are. Taking your imperfections, and allowing yourself to be work-in-progress who sometimes makes mistakes, is all part of valuing yourself and being kind to yourself as your learn and grow through the many challenges of life.
Values in relationships
While conflicting values don’t have to be an instant deal-breaker, finding someone who shares similar values to you will provide a sound basis for a healthy, uncomplicated relationship.
Relationships can test your boundaries at the best of times and encourage you to grow as a person (which are good things). But trying to establish a relationship with someone who has different or contradictory values to you may lead to ‘irreconcilable differences’. Core values are not something that people can only change upon request.
In fact, if you start a relationship with someone who does not share your values, this may test your resolve. But remember, trading in your values for theirs—or deciding that your values aren’t as important and can ‘take a back seat’ for a while—in the hope that they will like you more or love you is not being true to yourself. If the person doesn’t turn out to be the partner of your dreams and wrongs you, you will regret giving up your values so quickly.
Diane can help you understand the power of values in your life and to value yourself.
Other services Diane offers include:
- Marriage Counselling
- Couples Counselling
- Anxiety Counselling
- Depression Counselling
- Modern Parenting
- Understanding behaviour and communication
- Byron Katie Workshops (involves the alleviation of depression)
- Tools for Life Workshops (retrain your brain)
- Family Constellations (including family history)
- Personal Empowerment.