Relationships are not always easy, even good relationships have their fair share of ups and downs. If you are not happy 80% of the time then maybe someone with a deeper knowledge of relationships can be supportive and steer you towards happiness.
When couples have issues, they either talk about it towards finding a resolution, which may even incorporate forming an action plan together if this is a recurring issue. Or the issue isn’t spoken about effectively, words are spoken, but they are not productive in achieving a mutually satisfying result . This can cause a further disconnection and create more resentment.
Why can one couple sort out their issues a lot quicker than other couples?
When a couple can sort out their issues relatively quickly, they have the ability to understand and respect the other person’s point of view. They will listen to understand what their partner is saying, not just in preparation for their own response, but to truly understand their partners’ viewpoint.
When committing to a relationship, you are also committing to taking time to understand your partner. The relationship cannot flourish when only one of you is happy, you need to both be happy in the relationship. This means being aware of your own triggers and issues and discussing them with your partner.Also being aware of what triggers and upsets your partner so that you know how to best support them . If you can learn how to be an effective communicator and express your concerns in a way that is not attacking the other. Being able to receive information without defending yourself or turning the attack onto your partner. When couples can communicate their issues without picking up a sword to attack or a shield to defend, they have the opportunity to come up with a positive resolution for both of them. Defense is the first act of war, if a person comes to you with their concern, but you only defend yourself, then the concern has effectively been made about you. You are not effectively listening to the person who has the issue. Meeting a person’s concerns without hostility and listening to understand, means that needs can be met and life can go on feeling happy.
Let’s talk about what happens in couples / marriage counselling at my Capalaba practice.
When couples come to me for relationship counselling they often feel as if they are in a deep hole and have no idea how to get out and reach the top. So we begin one step at a time. We work together, listening, healing, understanding, building knowledge and getting rid of a few extra bags to make the climb easier.
The first step is always the couple making their first appointment with me.
I address individual issues, the issues that cause the triggers and I provide knowledge and tools in how to communicate effectively, understanding the love languages, the difference between masculine and feminine. Learning these skills then enables the couples to role model this healthy way of being in a relationship. Learning these ways of being together creates more love, happiness, trust and respect. Issues will be heard and needs will be met. How beautiful would that be for you and your relationship?
Is your relationship counselling ready to be taken to a higher level?
