Your Unique Roadmap to a Happy Relationship
An intimate relationship is unique to the couple. Our childhood and past experiences will define how we view certain situations and people. Everyone has a lens that is unique to them. If an individual only looks at the relationship through their lens, they will not have an opportunity to understand how their partner views the relationship. This is where the relationship can go off track. There can be a lack of understanding and unmet needs, and then frustration builds, leading to a disconnect that gets deeper with time.
Couples counselling is a great way to get back on track. Couples counselling sessions are available at Wynnum, Capalaba, and online.
What is a relationship roadmap, and why is it important?
A roadmap is a way of finding each other and having a clear direction on where to go so you arrive at the same place together. I often hear of couples who find that after a few years of being together, they are travelling on an entirely different road from each other. Initially, they begin on a similar path. Still, slowly, their relationship becomes more of an individual journey than a journey taken as a couple because of their lack of understanding.
We need to understand that need before we can tell each other what we need. Take the time to check in with yourself when you feel disconnected from your partner or if any issues arise. The more clarity you have about what you need, the clearer the roadmap for your partner to provide you with what you need.
An example of this may be “ I need you to love me more” so your partner will go about giving love based on how that looks through their lens, their roadmap to love. Love can be interpreted in a million ways, so telling your partner what being loved means to you is important. This may be to be hugged every day, sit and talk, have more fun together, and be more intimate. Give your partner a clear roadmap, and you will get what you need. This may look like this. “Sweety, I’ve noticed that I have been missing you lately, and I would love it if we could spend more time together, just cuddling on the couch.”
It’s also important not to blame your partner because you are not getting what you need. “ You never love me anymore. I’m not important to you.” This may be seen as an attack, so your partner may respond by defending themselves. Because it’s your need not being met, you need to tell your partner how you feel and what you need, not what they are not doing. Also, your partner is not a mind reader; they shouldn’t be expected to know how you think and what you need. That’s providing a road map at all, it’s putting a blindfold on your partner and saying you need to find your own way to me. Good luck with that!
It is your responsibility to ensure that your needs are met. Therefore, you must understand your needs and how you would like them met.
I know all this sounds great in theory. I understand better than most that most people are too afraid to communicate or don’t know how. And when they try, it turns into a huge argument. If this is your situation, don’t wait until it is too late to save your relationship. Book a couples counselling appointment or even an individual session, and I can help you have the ability to communicate effectively. Couples counselling is available at Wynnum, Capalaba, or online. Book now
Relationships are not easy but with a clearer picture, it can be made easier. Imagine if one day we can say, “Siri, tell my partner how to love me.”
