Thoughts can create anxiety, depression, overwhelm, anger, etc and certainly affect a person’s self-esteem.
What Are The Effects Of Self-Esteem
We either have a high, low or somewhere in the middle self-esteem. Someone with high self-esteem is confident, motivated and feels like most things are possible; they are more likely to be higher achievers. People with low self-esteem are more likely to be insecure and not as confident. What creates the type of self-esteem you have? Your thoughts do, and what you think about yourself will directly affect your self-esteem. People with low self-esteem don’t achieve as much as they are often feeling scared, worried, inadequate and uncomfortable rather than just living life; having negative thoughts can be time-consuming.
Having low self-esteem stops people from getting what they want and need. They would rather go without than speak up. This resistance can cause negative results, such as experiencing sexual or emotional abuse, bullying, staying in an unhappy marriage, missing out on that perfect job, etc., as well as living with resentment. People with low self-esteem often feel they are not worthy, incapable, lovable, essential, or valuable; they feel like they are not enough, and as a result, they are not living the life they deserve to live.
Behaviour & Neural Pathways Affect Self-Esteem
When a behaviour is repeated, a Neural pathway in the brain develops; it becomes a memory to do any act or practice unconsciously, such as walking and driving a car. Initially, it required one full conscious focus, and when the neural pathway is fully developed, it can now be done on autopilot, unconsciously. Many things are achieved throughout the day automatically. When we are born, we have many things to learn, such as how to feed ourselves, talk, etc.
When negative self-talk is repeated, the neural pathway becomes strong, and the thoughts become unconscious, meaning you don’t even realise what you are thinking about. It’s all done unconsciously. For many of us, it’s more comfortable or natural to be negative than positive.
When asked, “What are your faults?” the list can be endless, and when asked, “What are your strengths?” it is often a shorter list. So, imagine if someone tells themselves daily that they are not good enough, smart enough, loveable, or worthy. Then, that’s who they are because that is what they have created; it becomes their truth.
Low self-esteem stops a person from living their full potential. Can you remember when you chose not to speak up to your detriment?
We are not responsible for the experiences we had in childhood, but we are accountable for our lives as adults.
How Do I Improve My Self-Esteem?
To change your self-esteem from low to high, you must make a choice; it’s that simple. By consciously choosing what you think about, you can take control of your life, become aware of your thoughts, change the negative to the positive, and be in charge.
Do you realise that your unconscious runs 80 % of your day and only 20% by your conscious mind, now that’s a bit scary? Is it time that you consciously take back control and create the mindful life that you deserve?
Accept what we have, work with it, not against it, change what you can, accept what you can’t, and go for it.
Many years ago, I would tell myself I was not intelligent “enough” compared to what though? This was my negative self-talk, and when I realised that my intelligence was enough for me at that moment in time and that no one else was thinking that but me, I could then let that thought go. I became conscious of what I was thinking about and its negative effect on me, and I chose to let it go.
The past creates present reality; sometimes, we may have had unpleasant experiences, but it does not need to define who we are now or the quality of our lives.
Individual counselling provides the opportunity to resolve past events that may contribute to negative thoughts that create low self-esteem and to provide tools for achieving the life one wants for the present and the future.
